Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
Ended up passed out drunk in the neighbors lawn, still in costume. Neighbors thought I was a lawn decoration. Ten points for best Halloween ever.
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
My mom seriously just told me my insurance company pays for rehab. In an email. I expect a real, not just us joking, intervention coming on. I'm not accepting a "lunch date" with that bitch.
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them.
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
You know that tattoo place next to Dallas? The naked sexy frog on my neck is proof that their "won't tattoo if drunk" sign is bullshit!
Randomize
