Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
He was like an artic tracker. Walked ten paces from the tree, then 15 paces from the mailbox, dug down in the snow, and pulled up the case of beer he hid from his parents out there. It tasted like ice cold success.
You know how I've been hooking up with my ex? Well he told me he loved me and I said I was just there for sex so let's get it done. He looked sad, but he did it anyways. And life was good again.
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
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