i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
You brought us all personal gifts you had stolen from the party and bellowed "hoes hoes hoes, clepto Santa loves you"
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
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