we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
decided to have an easter egg hunt this year. the golden egg has weed in it and all the others have shots of vodka. who said we were too old for easter?!?
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
I'm dipping store brand pepperoni pizza in bacon flavored ranch dressing. Obesity tastes so good.
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
Yeah I would come and meet you but there's 3 polish girls yelling at a drunk polish guy in the carpark outside. They just dumped a whole pizza over his head and I want to see where this ends...
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
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