There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
This house was built for laser tag.
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
Is there a non-awkward way to tell a girl I work with that she looks just like my favourite pornstar?
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
My mom just drunk texted me complaining about her genitals smelling like Taco Bell. I really am her son
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
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