I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
complete strangers are now referring to me as 'the bourbon guy.' i can live with this.
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
How'd the date with the redheaded dentist go?
She didn't like my gingervitis joke
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
How the hell do you misplace a bag of tacos in a closet?
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
Randomize
