I woke up to the bathroom door of steak n shake hitting me in the face at 4 in the morning...
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
I was so high I forgot how to swallow food, and I just kept thinking "thank god its just mashed potatoes, they'll go down eventually"
Randomize
