I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
why im i the only drunk person in the library?
He really likes Obama...and Bill Clinton too. He said "I mean, how many presidents can say that they got head in the oval office?"
Soulmates.
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Wesley from the Princess Bride. I kept telling him what I wanted him to do and all he would say was "as you wish"
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
My apartment is so clean right now, I should invite someone over for sex just so someone can see how clean it is.
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
Is that strawberry winking at me??
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