Have you ever seen a midget fist pump? BEST. THING. EVERRRRR.
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
The EMTs said they would give me as many blankets as I wanted if I didn't pee in the ambulance. They even turned on the sirens.
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
good news: I made it out of bed and into shower. Bad news: I made it back to bed without clothes. Worse news: I don't know this bed.
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
We told her to calm down. She said "I'm Buddha!". Then army crawled to the cooler for more vodka.
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
Dreamt I had my own personal vibrator rep, who made house calls. I earned an upgrade to an electric model, since I was burning through batteries. That's it. Time for a bf.
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
When I planned out my evening, "co-author lesbian vampire erotica" was not anywhere on my list of expected activities.
Me neither, but hey, this is where we've ended up. Let's embrace the moment.
Randomize
