we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
I feel like this woman may give her husband a hand job mid way through dinner. just saying.
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
I'm literally taking a shit naked holding a bottle of wine.
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
Randomize