what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
Getting drunk before noon on a Tuesday. When did this become my life? Did you know that a six-pack of Smirnoff is 2 liters?
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
