he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
I am sitting on the floor by my oven watching my cookie dough blossom. This is a whole new level of fat
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
She was blowing me like a porn star and all I could think was "you just told me your grandfather is dying in hospice right now"
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
Randomize
