I should just wear a shirt that says "Im Sorry" on the front because the second we land in Vegas, I'm going to be a fuckin trainwreck.
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
At 4 am, making my walk of shame, the hotel security followed me to my car with his flashlight shined directly on me. I felt like either a criminal or like I was about to get raped. Can't a girl sneak out of a hotel room without an actual spotlight on her?!?!?!
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
Why is there bacon in the couch?
Randomize
