I thought he was gonna sex me but then he ran to my bathroom and jerked off
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
I probably shouldn't have followed up that rainbow sherbet with beef jerky. This is a whole new level of fat, even for me.
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
I'm not a home wrecker but if one more married man with a yacht asks me to go scuba diving I'm NOT saying no
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
Randomize