you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
is this the sara with the beer cane?
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
If I got to choose how I die, it would be in an Olympic sized pool of gin and tonic.
I emailed the police apartment to apologize to the officer from last night. I practically threw a hissy fit because he wouldn't hug me.
It was "against protocol"
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
I RAN OVER A NUN! I RAN OVER A FUCKING NUN! GOD WILL NEVER FORGIVE ME FOR MY SINS NOW!!!
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
I had to cum in my sink.
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