Remind me that when I'm pregnant, I should NOT post vaginal dilation updates on my facebook. Ever.
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
Somewhere out there, someone is getting laid. And then theres me, watching Star Trek porn while my roommate plays World of Warcraft next door
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
Alright dude i'm gonna go to go sleep off this soberness. my life is a cosmic joke
I'll always remember you bringing me that pregnancy test in the middle of an ice storm. Best friend ever.
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
I bought two pregnancy tests and a cosmopolitan magazine at 4am... I told the cashier "dont judge me, ur not God"
Randomize
