After last night, I could never be a politician.
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
Randomize
