She said her name was "party"
I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
this morning i realized i came home with more condoms then i left. burn.
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
Math equation of the day: 4 waffles + 1 bowl of weed = 1 terrific nap
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
Randomize
