discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
Woke up with a padlock locked onto my ear gauge and the first of many sticky note clues on my chest leading to the key.
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
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