You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
So i just bought beer on a credit card, using a fake ID, while wearing my nametag from work. All 3 have different names on them. God i love my boobs.
Listen, i'm watching playoff hockey and eating waffles. i just don't have time for your drama today.
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
His hands were made for my vagina.
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
I can only send "I want your dick" texts to so many guys before I accidentally over-book myself. I need a day planner.
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
Jarrod's passed out on the chair with a cup of milk and I've been staring him down in an attempt to use telepathy to make him spill it. Attempts unsuccessful.
He tried to throw up into a beer bottle. It was a complete disaster. Vomit went everywhere. It put the Bellagio's fountain to shame.
Randomize
