I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
Randomize
