When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
I just sat in the bathtub with the shower running so I could eat the whole box of mega stuffed Oreos. What am I doing with my life
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
I'm determined to sit on that face.
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
After drinking all day I popped an adderal, slammed three beers in a row, apparently told the bartender "thanks bitch" then ran on stage.
Randomize
