Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
Being this Hungover on Easter has brought my closer to Jesus... I swear he had to feel shitty like this after coming back from the dead
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
Uhh... I think I meant "Be proud, I'm taking shots before my public speaking test." "Coffee and vodka is not good" and "Also, I'm giving blood drunk."
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
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