Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
for not the first time in my life, my clothes are covered in piss and i'm standing in line waiting to buy pedialyte at a convenience store
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
So? Find me, fuck me, then you can go to sleep and I'll leave.
Wow. That's the most amazing thing anyone has ever said to me.
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
The only thing I want for my birthday is a divorce from you.
I woke up, topless, my car was parked funny so I threw on my hoodieto go fix it and found a jello shot in my pocket. where did I go last night?!
Randomize
