How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
No I am not eating basil off your cock
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
Had to immediately delete the Bevmo email because I can't even look at an email about alcohol right now.
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
Cleaning my room at 2am, in just one corner I found six beers, half a pint of whiskey, my flask, 2 shotgun bullets, my crown and shimmer lotion.
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
I think the highlight of my night is when I was eating a mayonnaise sandwich. drunk me was on point.
WEED BROWNIES! He put weed in my brownie mix! And he got it from YYYYOOOOUUUU!
Look at the bright side mom. After 20 years dad is still capable of surprising you!
Shut up Max.
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
Randomize
