I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
this is a save-me-from-tijuana-tequila-and-hoookers booty call. if i don't hear from you by 8pm i'm grabbing my passport
if i'm not back tomorrow call the embassy
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
Never underestimate the power of titties
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