Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
god help us all. i just saw an infant wearing a onesie that said "i don't know who my daddy is"
woke up this morning with a pool of champagne in my purse. apparently i was saving it for later.
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
So I'm dropping a fat deuce at work, and the lock on the stall door slips and the door slides open, when suddenly someone comes in. Now I have two options, I can either get up quickly and try to shut the door quickly (not easy to do with one hand) or I can just sit there and play it off like it's no big deal and I always dump at work with the door open. I chose option two, and it was as awkward as it sounds.
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
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