he thought i was a dude.
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
He had rug burn on his nose from my landing strip
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
She pulled up to the bar in a limo, wasted, and alone. Gets out, shrugs and slurs "I couldn't find a cab" and proceeds to take a shot.
I'm in love.
so much tequila, so little girl.
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Randomize
