So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
MY GOD DAMN TV STOPS WORKING EVERY TIME I AM THIS FUCKING HIGH. WHY MUST IT TORMENT ME?!
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
It's only 10am and I doubt my day could get much worse. During my 9am meeting I had to sit between my boss who I fucked for my promotion and the guy he walked in on me fucking on the copier
And the next thing I knew I was blowing this random hot italian bartender with an uncircumcised penis in his work closet
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
When we were in Vegas he tried to get an Elvis impersonator to act dead on a toilet so he could take photos. This is even worse
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