I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
I haven't gotten laid in forever. I'm obsessed. I imagine I this is how Ethopians feel about food.
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
OPIZZABONMYDICK
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
I just came so hard my vision went blurry. I can only hope one day I'll find a man that can accomplish what my left hand does on a tri-daily basis.
Is there a reason drunk me put drunk you's phone in the freezer?
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
Randomize
