If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
I was trying not to text you this weekend, so I deleted your number when I was sober. Then auto restore at midnight. It was like drunk magic
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
I went on my dinner date pretending that my lunch date didn't jizz in my hair.
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
Randomize
