started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
Fucking someone because they own a lava lamp is like fucking someone because they have 20 dollars and no concern for their house burning down.
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
It was his birthday this weekend. I had to carry him 6 blocks, in 3 inch heels. The entire time he was trying to molest me, eat my face, and try to stop every two feet to tie his shoe. He would light a cigarette, forget about it, almost burn everyone, throw it out, then decide he wanted to smoke. He kept repeating that he trusts me with his life.
...Wow...
I could be a kindergarten teacher
I can't figure out how to eat twizzlers and I have to be at a wedding reception in an hour.
Please never have kids.
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
Was expecting a sext from Kristi and then my mom randomly sent me a pic of her ugly Xmas sweater. Worst. Buzzkill. Ever.
Had a rough day but my boyfriend made that all better by going down on me while letting me watch Top Gear... I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
That awkward moment when you realize you've been secretly blackout dating someone for three months. Drunk me is in a committed relationship.
Randomize
