Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
Another day, another engagement, another cat
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
Two words: nipple clamps
Randomize
