We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
You are writing your college essay comparing yourself to Lady Gaga, Vladimir Putin, and Dale Earnhardt Jr. and you are worried about the conclusion sounding cheesy?
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
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