Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
either way he was missing a nipple.
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
MY FUCKING CAT JUST GAVE BIRTH AND IM FUCKING STONED AND I FUCKING DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO!!!
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
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