Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
Tequila is the liquid version of celery. I lose more calories during tequila drunk and the following sexual activities than I gain by drinking it...
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
i'm sick of coming in second next to bourbon.
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
After you finished the $300 bottle of wine you just started crying about how if Mulder and Scully didn't invite you to join the x-files your life would be meaningless because you "love that weird shit"
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
Randomize
