I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
I love my grandma, but if I have to sit and watch one more show on Bravo, I'm gonna burn her fuckin house to the ground
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
the best part is my dad got arrested for the same thing at the same bar 30 years ago... so he cant be mad
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
If anyone remembers any details of tonight please address concerns to my lawyer. This is a mass text.
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
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