Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
Its 6am and I'm sitting on the couch watching Clifford. Crying into my risotto because emily elizabeth helped the girl in the wheelchair get over her stagefright so she can win a trophy. Never drinking alone again.
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
Um. I just realized I still have a beer in my purse from last night. I'm at work. I am so classy.
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