I don't usually arrange sex via text message
like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
I like how the only thing you spelled correctly is "i'm tequila"
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears.
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
Shitty. Well if it makes you feel any better I just had a toothless wasted crackhead in my bar who was mad because there are TOO MANY FUCKIN TREES in Nantucket.
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
Randomize
