Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
He gave me his business card. It was a Justin Bieber trading card with his number written in sharpie. I have to call him don't I?
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
I told him I might be pregnant and he said he'd buy me a test and a twix bar. I'm marrying him. Tomorrow.
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