Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
I fucking love your mom. She's so drunk and fully functional. I aspire to be her one day.
Just used my eyelash curler to open a bottle of cider...
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
Randomize
