Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
The timing couldn't have been better if I planned it. His mom walked away, I vomited in their mulch, and then his mom came back and offered me bread.
My phone saved "first signs of pregnancy" as a most visited search.
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
Randomize
