Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
Did you pluck my eyebrows one night when I passed out?
I just woke up to three voicemails from you. In the first one you just straight laughed for 3 minutes. In the second you did bird calls. In the third you were hysterically crying. Have fun last night?
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
I just paid for weed by taking him to the store to buy cheese so he could make empanadas. Best. Drug deal. Ever.
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
Why am I cleaning the house twerking to anaconda wearing a bears jersey and helmet?
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
Randomize
