Gettin pulled over, can you watch my dog and pay the bils for a while?
is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
Ah that wonderful moment when you realise the bookmark you were using in a book you lent your mum is actually a receipt from a strip club
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
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