White coat. Heels.
Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
In other news: I massively over-caffeinated this morning. Everything is vibrating and I can SEE THROUGH TIME
My mom and sister were over. When my drunk roommate came home, he yelled "GOT BITCHES IN MY CONDO"
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
Randomize
