hey, we don't wanna leave the house because we're watching fireworks on tv. this is america.
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning.
We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we?
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
Just chugged a Bloody Mary in 60 seconds flat. New personal best! Happy Sunday!
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
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