And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
Well... first you killed the girls goldfish, then you shoved her face in your armpit, made her cry, got kicked out, ate your cigarettes, and passed out in her driveway. Pretty successful night if you ask me
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
I fucked her wearing an American flag. Now here I am, awake, naked, and flag less. How do I report this to the police?
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
i’m blowing bubbles in my bloody mary so yeah it’s pretty much time to go
It’s a dick. Seen one, seen em all. Unless it spews a fountain of tequila, I don’t need to see yours.
Randomize
