btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
MASS TEXT! MASS TEXT! Your sad horny friend has finally gotten it in and can go back to being normal once again. You're welcome.
We lost a condom inside me, I had to fish it out. The next day he gave me a Gone Fishin' bumper sticker. True love at its finest.
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
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