I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
i love accidental penises.
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
Your the only friend that would realize I'm gonna get drunk and send coke to me at a bar before I made drunken phone calls for it. You sir complete me.....
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
Randomize
