You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
I wish i could clap on, clap off my penis
I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
dude she got out of bed and definitely took a shit then checked her stomach out in the mirror and whispered "well that probably took off five pounds"
The feeling are messing with the penis
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
Randomize
