Guess what? I had way too much to drink today. I'm properly wasted. Doing chores and playing video games while drunk. It's the nexus of stupidity and responsibility.
my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
Rubbed one out while on hold to buy tickets to Disneyland. Feel simultaneously like a freak and strangely productive.
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
She said, after pronouncing how sober she was, and I quote 'Take this bag, it's so heavy it's like 500 degrees! Wait, is it time to go? Can I run? I think I can run!' Then she ran away.
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
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