I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
Just opened a beer with eyelash curlers... miss you.
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
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