Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
You need Xanax blowdarts
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
dude I don't even care if I'm getting catfished the point is I'm going to get laid. hot bitch, fat bitch, skanky bitch, i don't care my penis is having an adventure tonight regardless
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
You know what i hate? I hate when the ppl you drunkenly made out with actually want to talk to you sober. It just doesn't work that way sir.
I have decided that I would still fuck Harrison Ford even though he is old as fuck now. Do you think it would kill him?
Most likely. But I bet he'd do a bang up job of it before he died.
He absolutely would.
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