when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
Dude! wtf happend last nite? I woke up with 2 black eyes and a head ache
You stepped off the curb and face planted the road...twice
Why didnt you hold me up....and why a second time?
I helped you up but figured it was wayy funnier to watch you fall again then lose my buzz....
I don't think I can get bothered with getting laid tonight
i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
I am now "wine pairing" tums flavors with my strongbow, because apparently hard cider gives me heartburn.
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
I miss my bedroom and my bed and being able to spray myself with my choice of 15 different perfumes so I don't have to wake up to the smell of my past sins
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
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