Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
Someone just walked into the bar with a pillow
I don't know whether to judge him or give him a high five
Just me, my martini, and my backup Martini.
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
Dude! We had to write our address on your arm in permanent marker so you wouldn't get lost. You just showed the cabbie your arm and he drove you! Nice guy.
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize
