did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
Verdict: uncircumcised.
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
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