Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
Didn't know where your dishes went. Put em in the bathtub. They're stacked taller than you. It's like modern art.
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
I hate when my Bumble matches make it hard for me to stalk them.
Randomize
