My grandmass entire neighborhood is over for dessert and i'm high as fuck...about to make a couple of freshman boys real uncomfortable
Freshman in high school? Just your type
I don't think brook has ever known best
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
no today was horrible, i woke up and somebody slit my car tire and left an apology letter in my wiper that said "sorry wrong house"
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
If you can't find your cat in the morning it's cause i put him in the laundry basket and then put the laundry basket in the shower.
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
I just sent Brandon a snapchat where I wasn't wearing a shirt but had a rooster drawn on my boobs that said "cock block" and laughed for 10 minutes I have problems don't judge me
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
Randomize
