Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
I told the emergency room nurse I didn't want to stop and ruin the moment. She said safewords are there for a reason. Super condescending. Got her number though.
Turns out it's a fake number.
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
Randomize
