Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
Ah, Christ. I just saw a D lister I made out with once on a Rock Of Love rerun. Why are you asleep right now? Some weird shit is happening.
You know when your cat drags a dead bird into the the house as a present and drops it at your feet looking all pleased because it thinks you'll be pleased? That's what sex with him was like.
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
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