I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
Just tried calling my phone on my phone because i thought i lost my phone.
sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
No more cocaine. I spent two hours in my bathroom convincing myself I was ugly. Is this what a period feels like?
You're the worst gay friend ever.
She said my new name was "ranch" because I "looked delicious"
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
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