it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
So you know that marine I slept with, well his girlfriend just told me I was pretty, I almost feel bad for sleeping with him now...
Dont! You were just serving you country
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
I now have scissors specifically made for cutting dicks off.
Randomize
