this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
Just found out my rents have been paying my siblings to cockblock me for the past 5 years
Not as covert as you thought huh?
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
Someone keeps hanging up bible verse posters in the bathroom stall I masturbate in at work.
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
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