I'm really into asian looking animals
I just broke up with my girlfriend lets go find strippers that need rent money.
I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
I deleted his number so I had to go into my old voicemails which are saved through my gmail and search his name... Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a drunk girl on a mission for dick
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
how drunk are you?
Several
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
Randomize
